the meaning of life and reality as we know it.

Time is not a linear line, we perceive it that way because of our senses; but we can not perceive the vibrations of light or sound as they truly are. How can I say this and be so sure of myself and my idea of this? Because i have seen it first hand and experienced it.

Imagine if you experiencing your entire life in a moment; every decision you ever made and the resulting timeline; now imagine every other decision that could have been made and those timelines, down the line with an infinite number of dividing pathways. The best way i can describe it is you are at a store with a wall of televisions; imagine you are at walmart in electronics looking at tvs, the picture on each screen is another wall of tv's and you can see everything on every screen simultaneously. Now imagine you are not just seeing everything but you are experiencing everything all at the same time; every taste, touch, smell, sound, sensation and the emotion all at once, not just your emotions but the emotions of every single person you have ever interacted with. Everyone you have ever had any interaction with you are tied to in some way; in fact we are all connected. Outside of your SELF, outside of you, there is a lot more and when you touch this greater sense you realize it; you can never turn back because now you are awake in a world of sleepers. "this is all a dream within a dream" is one way I would describe our reality. The meaning of life? you can jokingly say it is 42, because there is no solid answer other than the emotional impact everyone has on each other. Like I said this is not a timeline of moment A and moment B but it is everything and all the potential everythings; LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT. Space, Time, and personal experience is pretty much FUBAR to try to explain in any sort of form because it is entirely a personal experience; therefore reality is not the same to any single person. Your perception of a minute might be different than mine, it is entirely up to our internal system to determine.



I need to back up a moment and explain something, I have hinted at this. May 23, 2014 I was found dead, well basically dead. Four heartbeats a minute, cold and grey; turns out i had been in this state for 17 hours before medical attention. In truth, I had overdosed after a really painful breakup and divorce. I was at the end of my line and the only way out I saw was to die; but I did not intend to go out like that, the overdose was an accident brought on by my self-destruction. I am not proud at all of that time in my life, I would do anything to stop others from making the choices I made, but my time out of my body experiencing what I can only describe as a near death experience changed me. No one is worth dying over, at the time though I was so heart broken it only made sense to me but coming out of it I understood that it was better to break things off than to both be unhappy. i will write more about the experience of dying and the physical, emotional and mental recovery I experienced at a later time.

For now i was merely trying to explain the fractal sense I experienced of what we perceive as reality. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Be kind to others. Think before you speak, you shouldn't try to hurt anyone. There is a singularity that we are experiencing in another form; so try not to be an asshole.

i probably forgot to include some details. like oh shit this one is important.

Simultaneously to my experience of infinite realities as a singularity i experienced the entire universe, the multiverse really. TURTLES ALL THE WAY DOWN. I saw it all expanding out to infinity and then contracting down to a single point of light over and over and over and over and... this happened an infinite number of times in my experience and every time i experienced everything on every world and every star, the entire experience of everything, every emotion and experience of every being. I WAS AT THE ONE, THE GOD HEAD, THE MOMENT OF CREATION AND DESTRUCTION AND EVERYTHING WAS ONE AND THE SAME; I HAD LOST THE EXPERIENCE OF SELF SEEING EVERYTHING AS THE SAME. The is no forever, forever is not forever; everything is one. Let go of your SELF and be at one.

The is comfort in the idea of self though, so enjoy that experience. Being back in my body I have become hyper aware of emotions of those around me, I need to shut that down sometimes and block all that out. It becomes overwhelming in large crowds and I pick up on things I do not want to experience; the emotions of others are bitter and are not fun to experience.